I should be on a plane right now…
From: Jonathan Van Viegen
My apartment in Panama City… instead of an airplane…
Dear Friend,
I should be on a plane right now.
Instead, at 6:04am this morning, Meredith came into our room and said two words that changed our holiday forever:
“She’s sick.”
She was talking about my 13-year-old.
The one who went to a friend’s house two days ago for a Christmas party.
The one whose friend was diagnosed with Influenza A yesterday.
And now my sweet daughter is lying in bed with the same fever.
The same body aches.
The same chills.
Which means no flight for us.
No holidays with family we haven’t seen in three years.
No long hugs at the airport.
No shared meals.
No memories we were already making in our minds.
Just… disappointment.
Meredith’s been crying most of the day. I can’t blame her.
She’s been the engine of our family for eight years… ever since we left Canada.
She needed a break.
She needed help putting on Christmas.
She needed a hug from her own mom.
But here’s the thing I’m taking from today:
Disappointment is not conquering our relationship.
Not today.
Not ever.
Disappointment is a sneaky devil.
And it rarely shows up alone.
It always brings friends.
Fear.
Pain.
Guilt.
And don’t forget anger.
And those four love nothing more than turning couples against each other.
Before you know it, you’re looking at your partner as if they are the source of everything that hurts.
That’s how couples end up fighting each other instead of lining up on the same side against the chaos of disappointment.
But Meredith and I made a different move.
We named it.
Out loud.
“This sucks. But it’s not our fault.”
And just like that, we stayed in the same boat.
Same direction.
Same oars.
Same rhythm.
Because here’s the truth most couples never get taught:
It’s not conflict that pulls you apart.
It’s misguided blame (with roots in disappointment) that does the real damage.
So do your relationship a favor this holiday season:
Kick disappointment out of the driver’s seat.
Take five seconds to remember that you’re on the same side.
That disappointment is the enemy… not each other.
In solutions and strength,
Jonathan
aka "Mr. Chosen & Cherished"
P.S. On the bright side of canceling Christmas this year, I’ve got more time to make my January 6th workshop even better.
Instead of ice skating with my niece and nephew and drinking eggnog with my mum by the fireplace, I’ll be writing.
And writing a lot.
I’m preparing to teach you how to:
Name the real emotional intruder in your relationship
Stay aligned when life punches you in the mouth
Choose each other in the moments that actually matter
There will be:
No pop-psychology communication scripts.
No confusing therapy jargon.
No endless processing.
This is a workshop on building a Chosen & Cherished marriage… unlike anything you’ve experienced before.
You’ll also receive a prep worksheet and video in advance to help you become one of the strongest couples in your circle.
So if your relationship feels like it’s one bad moment away from turning into a fight…
If disappointment keeps sneaking in through the back door…
If you’re tired of feeling like life is the enemy, and your partner is too…
This is for you.
👉 Click the link and join me on January 6th.
Because the strongest couples aren’t the ones who avoid disappointment.
They’re the ones who refuse to let it break them.
The Most Valuable Relationship Advice On The Internet!
Join thousands of couples getting the best relationship wisdom every Monday.
No spam. Just honest, useful insights.
WANT TO SHARE THIS LETTER?
SHARE
Jonathan Van Viegen is a couples therapist and relationship coach with over 10 years of experience helping couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and strengthen connection. Known for his direct, no-nonsense style, he’s a trusted voice on relationships and a frequent guest on podcasts and media.
© 2025 Jonathan Van Viegen. All rights reserved.